Dai Wakes Up 6

December 29th, 2011, 12:31 am

Average Rating: 5.00

Author's Comments:

Reply readyboy, December 29th, 2011, 12:31 am

Sucks for you, Joy.

@SilverHyena: Thanks. :) You need to get in on this soon. :o
@Mikseky: I took the next page because I can. :I So there. Joy doesn't like Dai. xD
@markhansavon: Okay. Thanks. :)

Reply Advertisement, September 23rd, 2017, 7:40 am

User's Comments:

Reply markhansavon, December 29th, 2011, 12:47 am

Good stuff. I like how you fill things in in one gray, it makes it look more professional.

I like the hands in the lower left shot. In fact, you have a good feel for hands.

Just this summer I learned that I was drawing my fingers too long. I think that's a problem that a lot of people tend to get caught up on, so the hands tend to look like gloves.

So far I am enjoying the collaboration, but would love to see some work on the story and dialogue.

I understand, though, that it will get better as it progresses.

Two things I'm seeing in the story so far to improve on would be the dialogue and character development.

It would be nice if you guys could create a good first page in where the character has a desire and a problem to work with.

Another HUGE thing would be to create a "place". The only place I've seen so far is the graveyard. A home base is a place in where the characters can really interact and get into mischief. (japanese work has used "the school" as it's home base).

There are many different possibilities of home bases you could use for the story: The graveyard could be a complex scene that has depth and multiple places to explore. Think adventure for the home base to add a sense of wonder.

Anyway, keep going, I'll keep commenting and stuff. =)

Reply Mikseky, December 29th, 2011, 12:21 pm

I just love your character XD and ok :] great job. Dai is just falling in love with Joy haha

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